Elements of FPM Part 3: Confidence/Self Worth

(Above: How the Elements of Forward Positive Momentum interconnect)

Thank You for joining us in this three part series on the Elements of FPM. Today, we conclude our series with Confidence and Self Worth.

Confidence is the belief in yourself that you can meet life's challenges and succeed it is also the attitude of that belief. In 2019 more than any other time in history our confidence is constantly under attack from all the stressors of daily life. We are so busy stacking our achievements and accomplishments, running the mill of the work-life-balance, raising families, commuting, loving, and advocating for others. There just doesn't seem to be that much time for... me? Stay cool as a cucumber we will get you there..

We have to find a way back to ourselves... we can't help anyone else if our own house isn't in order. Confidence is developed like any skill through practice and conditioning. When we lack confidence our motivation and ambition become memories of a fantastical past. They get lost in the maelstrom of daily life. They are forgotten. Once this happens our ability to be mindful is compromised. Any of the spokes on the wheel of FPM are equally important when any one of the vital elements starts to fade it is only a matter of time before the chips fall and only a matter of time before catastrophe strikes.  Let's accelerate to a solution here are several confidence building strategies (outside of 1-on1 coaching that help):

1. Don't Hold Back- your feelings, your devotion, yourself
(learn to be mindful of your feelings, thoughts, emotions, attitude rather than judgemental)

2. Be Yourself- this is a hard one because we often want to make everyone happy: if you're happy you'll radiate happiness and so others will share in that happiness.. it's contagious spread it far and wide!

3.Get Good at something- remember when we talked about motivation and ambition? These are actually great tools for cultivating and expanding on self confidence! 

4.When it all seems overwhelming think of your higher purpose - helping others, making positive changes in your life and the lives of others is a great starting point.

5.Take the time to get to know yourself- practices like mindfulness are really great for this approach. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses can help you find areas to work on (like in step 3) so that you can be a more confident you.

6.Make a point to get in some physical activity- even walking for 5 minutes a day and increasing in intervals can do wonders for your confidence.

7.Surround yourself with Support- Find and attract those within your inner circle that will promote your feeling of well being. This is a pretty tough challenge as without personal awareness it's sometimes hard to identify the negative influences. Start with awareness work from there. 

Is how much value we put in ourselves as a person.

How can we rate ourselves as a person? It's a subjective question that each individual has to answer for themselves but we often miss it in the self-talk and thoughts that slip away from us on a daily basis.  
"I did a great job on that project", "I look like shit this morning".
  

Our self talk reveals a lot about our inner world that we often won't admit to ourselves.

We like to leave our readers with some resources- food for thought as it were. If you have done the FPM Test today after having read this article go back and do it again.. if not do the Test and then do one in about an hour or so. Let us know your result in the forum, let's build some answers!

 
 
 

 

What is FPM all about?

 

 

Forward Positive Momentum(FPM) is based off the Sailboat Metaphor from Positive Psychology. FPM is a construct that elaborates on the Metaphor in terms of explaining our apparent "Speed" on the River of Life. Self-Awareness/Mindfulness, Motivation/Ambition, Confidence/Self Worth are the three characteristics that make up the concept of FPM. We'd like you to check out the video describing the Sailboat metaphor by Positive-psychology.com by clicking the link below the picture.In future blog posts we will be examining more closely the three conditions of FPM. Situational Awareness/Mindfulness, Motivation/Ambition, and Confidence/Self Worth.

 

 

 

 

 The Sailboat Metaphor Click Me

(Courtesy of: http://www.transformativeinsights.co.nz/youth-coaching)

Elements of FPM Part 1: Situational Awareness/Mindfulness

"Mindfulness is the Key to Situational Awareness and Situational Awareness is a part of Mindfulness."

Mindfulness was originally a meditative practice that started with Jon Kabat-Zinn and Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), in 1979. It is a meditation that enables practitioners to become more aware of their thoughts, body sensations, emotions and in recent years MBCBT (Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy) has emerged as a new specialized tool in the mindfulness arsenal. CBT is a psychological modality that helps you deal with the inaccurate/negative behavioral patterns that we exhibit as a result of trauma or mental health. Combined MBCBT helps us to not only modify the behavior but also to fully understand it's purpose without being judgemental or critical but simply by acknowledging it's there and it exists.

Situational Awareness is important in cultivating a sense of progress because we often don't give ourselves credit for what we do! Some of us give ourselves too much credit and some of us are blissfully unaware of what we're doing. We might not even be aware that we are self-sabotaging, deceiving ourselves, or making unrealistic goals. It's important to be grounded in everything you do but ultimately you need to be able to not only observe what's going on but also to perceive what is happening and to understand why it's happening. SA - Situational Awareness, is so important to the concept of Forward Positive Momentum FPM because it enables us to examine our entire situation so that we can start removing road blocks.

How Mindful are You?

Here's a Quick online test that will give you some idea of how mindful you are at present..

 

Mindfulness Quiz 

How did you do?

Leave a Comment below the post . (just for fun)

Further Resources

https://mbsrtraining.com/about-jon-kabat-zinn/

(For Mindfulness training there is no better place to start Here you can get the original MBSR training and even get certified by Jon Kabat-Zinn)

We will be doing a special blog series on MBCBT after our current series on the Elements of FPM!

Elements of FPM Part 2: Motivation/Ambition

 

 

 

"Motivation (MO) is our desire to either accomplish something or to avoid something unpleasant."

"Ambition which is still part of motivation is the actual goal or thing with which we are focused on accomplishing or avoiding."

 

We can be motivated to greatness very easily- as Obi-Wan-Kin-obi would have said it just depends on "your point of view." Motivations and accomplishments for some might be just getting out of bed in the morning

(Image Courtesy:https://www.verywellmind.com/sleep-problems-when-you-have-ptsd-2797478)

To a Great Many of Those out there this is a monumental accomplishment- it's literally for some the hardest thing they have to do all day. It's our purpose here to bring awareness to our friends, family , co-workers, and even the stranger who is suffering all alone. Don't run away from one another- embrace each other.

Ambitions can be things like pursuing education, finding a rewarding career, having children, finding love... there are as many ambitions as there are human beings on the planet and then some!

O.k. Wait I'm confused what's the difference between Motivation and Ambition?

Motivation is the actual feeling or amount of feeling we have when it comes to realizing our ambitions. When you read or hear ambition think: goal or better yet desired outcome. If Ambition is the destination then Motivation is the gas in the car. It's the fuel of our passions but it is also the fuel of our fears. The motivation to run away from danger is the desire to be safe with the ambition to avoid danger.

Now that we've established the difference I want to briefly highlight the different sub types of Motivation so we can paint a much clearer picture for you:

External Motivations

These are things that make you feel motivated based on some external reward or compensation. These can be accomplishing things due to incentive, fear, or expectation due to some external factor. Types of External Motivations:

1. Incentive Motivation

When You're driven by the reward that occurs as a result of accomplishment rather than the accomplishment itself.

2. Fear Motivation

This is motivation that is geared towards avoiding pain or consequences.

3. Power Motivation

When we seek power over ourselves or others.

4. Affiliation and Social Motivation

Our desire for belonging and acceptance.

5.Expectancy Theory

When our motivations come from the outcomes that we expect in a situation.

6.Equity Theory

When we expect a fair reward- it's not always dependent on how fair we are to other people but in some instances by how fair other people are to each other.

Internal Motivations

Things that make you feel motivated based on internal rewards. Think Inner Growth. For clarification's sake here are the different types of Internal Motivators:

1. Learning Motivation

Motivation that comes with learning something new where it's more about learning something new rather than the reward that ensues.

2. Behavioral Motivation

Oriented towards changing the way we think and behave.

3. Achievement Motivation

Comes from the successful accomplishment/completion of some specific goal.

4. Arousal Theory

Individuals are motivated by specific levels of arousal: i.e. mental alertness, attentiveness.

6. Physiological Motivation

These are motivations whose roots lie deep in the very fabric of every human being. These are the motivations that can make or break a person's health. The ambition to seek warmth comes from the motivation to survive by not succumbing to hypothermia.

How Motivated are You?

Here's a quick test to see how motivated you are

Feel Free to Share your comments down below!

Motivation Test